Crossing The Line

Over the last few years, i have been mentally calculating a list of the most socially unacceptable behaviour to display in front of others on public transport. Given the time I spend on public transport daily, I have encountered each and every one one of these qualities, sometimes all in the one person. Here is my Top Ten list. If any of these at all seem familiar, shame on you. I am judging. You are a commuting Pariah my friend. 1) - Eye Contact Given the sitting situation on the tube, potentially unavoidable.  You know how it is. sitting across the way from a fellow passenger, you notice them come in and sit down a stop after you. You notice how attractive they are so maybe your eyes linger a little longer than is socially acceptable. Eventually you are caught staring and you begin a never-ending game of eye contact tennis.  An even more awkward situation is when someone blatantly stars at you with no shame whatsoever, you find yourself sneaking side glances to...

Croatia appears to be more visited these days than the Daily Mail webpage by those who work in offices. If you have ever worked in a office and are under the age of 30 you know what i mean. I, for once, when it comes to travels appeared to be ahead of the trend. Or at the very least, oblivious of a trend existing. Coming up to a month ago now, myself and the great Sinéad embarked on a holiday across Croatia. In hindsight i can honestly say it was one of my favourite holidays of recent years. If you have not been there then i recommend going at once. No i mean it drop everything, put the kids out the back, give them a few bags of crisps and a bottle of water, lock the doors and catch a flight, quick before they turn it into the new Magaluf.  Here is a quick guide on how our trip went, maybe it will highlight some pitfalls and few must dos also for your own visit whenever that may be, make it snappy: the buzzards are circling.  Near Far Airports and Dazzling Stair case ...

The air smells of a mixture of sweat, sun cream and shame. Its summer time in London again.   For some reason, this year truly does feel like summer, crept up on us like a ex at a bar. We are already more then halfway through July. how did that happen? Given the tropical heat that London yet again is suffering from, the sun addicts are out in play. In-between each heat stroke day, there are sudden burst of storms and rain fall.  All those that suffer from withdrawals stand out by a mile, They are the people constantly straining there necks, staring at the sky. They gather around the spots where the sun is breaking through the clouds quickly assembling there chairs and wiping out there copy of ‘Fault in our stars, all the while setting up an elaborate mirror stand to direct the sun towards there body. What effort. As it is summer, typically we all strive towards one goal. To get away on a holiday. This year, myself and Sinead have been quite proactive, no last minute boo...

Alright mate, howdy hey ya and hello to all of you. This may come as a big old shock or to those closer to me, its yesterdays new’s but bare with any how. Over the last year i have started to develop a taste of baking. Yes thats right baking, i make a good old cake. No i do not wear a apron.  I can see all your minds now, picturing me with a mid 1960’s housewife hair due, with the ultra retro pink and baby blue apron that has ‘Kiss the Chef’ embezzled on the front with varies kiss patterns across the hem of it. Standing by a window that over looks a garden as my two children play while i clutch a deep plastic basin to my chest that is a garish yellow in colour. In my other hand i have a giant wooden spoon which doubles as a weapon if the kids get out of line. I am staring happily out the garden window as i manually mix my sultana loaf with my hand with a fist of fury.  Suddenly i stop, look up and anger sweeps across my face. ‘Christ almighty, Tommy get the hell out of th...

There is nothing i enjoy more then going out with friends and socialising. Whether this is catching up over a bite to eat, or hitting the tiles with a couple of drinks, I'm all for it.  Given my nature it is undoubtedly that i will take note of the awkward and plan annoyances that can come up around these events.  So here we go, a list of ‘You know what really bugs me’ Socialising edition.  Softly blow drying your hands Your enjoying a last minute catch up with a best mate. Your having a whale of a time, gossiping about those mutual friends that no one really likes. You excuse yourself to quickly pop to the bathroom to do your business and intend on returning before the starters arrive. You wash your handles carefully as to not spread germs as your a careful mother fucker. The soap is cheap and therefore you will be smelling it for days off as it never seems to wash off. You turn, catch sight of the hand dryer, your heart stops. Its one of those non br...