Showing posts from 2014

Holiday Horror Story

The usual smells people associate with Christmas: Spiced apple, mulled wine, fresh snow on the surface of your lawn while your house is adorned with twinkling lights. What smells do I associate with the rush up to the big day? The stale sweat from excruciating crowds swarming the streets. Cheap house wine, as it splashes upon my shoes from the drunken girl stumbling out of the bar in the over packed pub full of ‘Christmas drinks’. The smell of guilt as it exudes from someone who forgot to buy a ‘Kris Kindle’ Present for their workplace colleague. Now Tom from IT won’t have any new mug to use this year? Why would you do that to him? Christmas can be an amazing time of year, but the build-up can be a hell on earth like no other. Here are my top 4.

Endless Cards
Every year without fail I will spend an evening writing extremely personal and hilarious cards to my most cherished family and friends. I will then send them at the start of December to ensure there are many weeks of display my mas…

8 things Girls love about Gay Guys

Here it is, the inevitable blog post about what girls love about gay guys. You can absolutely take it for granted that if you are a female and we are buddies I have most definitely taken inspiration from our relationship (some more then others obviously) It's common knowledge that girls love gay guys. Unless of course they're weirdly religious then that can some times get in they way. I see you religious sallys laughing behind your hands at my bitchy put down, don't hide it, don't hate.  God loves all, apart from me according to you.  

1 Gossip
It's true, we are gossip whores and we accumulate all the most juicy ripe gossip and keep it in our man bags ready to divulge at our next cocktail get together. Gay guys not only love gossip but people tend to gravitate towards us to unload there own gossip to our ears. God knows why, we will spread that shit all over town.  We don't tend to do the traditional, ‘wait till you hear this’. Us gays like to jazz it up, we li…

Dial it up

Today’s younger generation have it much easier. Am I able to say that at the age of 26? Well I just did so get over it.  In the age of technology it is funny how far we have come from when I was a child: in some ways for the better but in equal measure, for the worse.  Pondering on this I have come up some things kids today will never experience. Or for that matter neither will we which also makes me sad. Here are my Top 5 Technology related struggles kids today will never experience. Sad times.
1) - Dial it up
Remember that ring up alien sound? Remember the excitement it brought? Remember using the internet before Google was everyone’s home page? AOL Search anyone? I dare you to try to explain to our younger generation the trials and tribulations of unplugging the house phone so you could have 30 minutes of fun on line (I used to frequent the Disney home page in those innocent days).  The thought that having some fun online meant having to give up any calls coming in through the hous…

Are you a commuting Pariah?

Over the last few years, i have been mentally calculating a list of the most socially unacceptable behaviour to display in front of others on public transport. Given the time I spend on public transport daily, I have encountered each and every one one of these qualities, sometimes all in the one person. Here is my Top Ten list. If any of these at all seem familiar, shame on you. I am judging. You are a commuting Pariah my friend.
1) - Eye Contact
Given the sitting situation on the tube, potentially unavoidable.  You know how it is. sitting across the way from a fellow passenger, you notice them come in and sit down a stop after you. You notice how attractive they are so maybe your eyes linger a little longer than is socially acceptable. Eventually you are caught staring and you begin a never-ending game of eye contact tennis.  An even more awkward situation is when someone blatantly stars at you with no shame whatsoever, you find yourself sneaking side glances to see if they're stil…

Just Passing Through

Croatia appears to be more visited these days than the Daily Mail webpage by those who work in offices. If you have ever worked in a office and are under the age of 30 you know what i mean. I, for once, when it comes to travels appeared to be ahead of the trend. Or at the very least, oblivious of a trend existing. Coming up to a month ago now, myself and the great SinĂ©ad embarked on a holiday across Croatia. In hindsight i can honestly say it was one of my favourite holidays of recent years. If you have not been there then i recommend going at once. No i mean it drop everything, put the kids out the back, give them a few bags of crisps and a bottle of water, lock the doors and catch a flight, quick before they turn it into the new Magaluf.  Here is a quick guide on how our trip went, maybe it will highlight some pitfalls and few must dos also for your own visit whenever that may be, make it snappy: the buzzards are circling. 
Near Far Airports and Dazzling Stair case to Heaven
I fly dir…

Holiday Envy

The air smells of a mixture of sweat, sun cream and shame. Its summer time in London again.   For some reason, this year truly does feel like summer, crept up on us like a ex at a bar. We are already more then halfway through July. how did that happen? Given the tropical heat that London yet again is suffering from, the sun addicts are out in play. In-between each heat stroke day, there are sudden burst of storms and rain fall.  All those that suffer from withdrawals stand out by a mile, They are the people constantly straining there necks, staring at the sky. They gather around the spots where the sun is breaking through the clouds quickly assembling there chairs and wiping out there copy of ‘Fault in our stars, all the while setting up an elaborate mirror stand to direct the sun towards there body. What effort. As it is summer, typically we all strive towards one goal. To get away on a holiday. This year, myself and Sinead have been quite proactive, no last minute booking for us, fo…