Vape Invaders

Smokers these days are more secretive and solemn when sparking up then heroine users on the street. In general you find most of them, skulk in dark secluded corners, eyes continuously darting back and fourth for any onlookers as they take secretive quick puckered puffs of there cigarette that is being held down by there side. The lit end of the cigarette is hidden directly under the palm of their hand, increasing the chances of a self burn. All due to the undeniable sense of deep shame they feel burning hotter the god dam sun. Poor fellas.  When it comes to walking the street, second hand smoke is literally the worst thing to be caught behind. I speed up and over take at the first opportunity.  Occasionally locking eyes with the person as I pass, both  of us understanding the reason for my Usain Bolt like speed. Both of us agreeing that it is necessary.  So why is it when you have the unfortunate luck of wandering in the path of person using a vape, they will meet your gaze with a determined arrogant expression that reads ''Bow before my vape mist you peasant''. Then without even the slight inclination of shame but with a touch too much pride proceed to blow a gust of mist stronger then Hurricane fucking Katrina directly into your face. So much so you are engulfed and momentarily blinded by the shimmering grey cloud that has suddenly invaded your personal space all the while encircling you in the fragrance of blue berry candy floss that was seconds ago inside some fellas lungs. Gross.  Just because your nicotine stick is now electronic and looks like a bedazzled lighter does not mean the rest of us want to share the fragrance. Especially when the flavours are such classics as  pink passion fruit popcorn that you bought from Gavin, the bouncer down the Royal Oak.  Chill out.


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