Crossing The Line

Recently when changing my bed sheets I lost a pillow. Thats right, an entire pillow vanished from my peripheral view. It happened after everything had been changed into fresh linens.  I was constructing the masterpiece that is my princess like bed. I call it this as I have 6 normal pillows and 3 throw pillows. Don't you judge me.  Anyways; towards the end, I noticed I was one pillow short. Where could it be? I checked all around my room, moved boxes under my bed and checked the  laundry hamper. Possibly I had mistakenly added it to the wash which I had just put on full of my dirty sheets. One hour and 30 minutes later the wash finished, and as I hung it out there was no pillow to be seen. It had simply vanished. Seriously, how does one loose an entire pillow? It’s not some tchotchke like ornament, it was an entire fecking pillow. The scenario had me questioning my sanity.  What if someone had broken into my flat and was testing me like some mild version of Scream b

Me and the arty shot I recently went on an incredible trip across the beautiful country Italy. Expect a boastful blog post soon regarding my spiritual awakening and personal growth and experience as I travel from city to city like a real life Eat Pray Love. Or the old school movie where Sabrina went to Rome. Anybody?  To be honest it was a fantastic holiday and I felt truly comfortable in the cities I visited alone, almost more so then when I had company. Shade at Niamh who I met up with in Rome.  Before I could get truly comfortable and start to develop any high brow thoughts about how cultured and grown I was, the world has its own little ways of putting me back in my place. That’s right, at my most self satisfied moments Italy truly put me back in my place. In two different scenarios in particular. Salty bitch. My first day in Venice, was inspiring. The city with its intrinsic canal system connecting the tiny islands combined with the beautiful arched bridges ha

For everyone who knows me, I am literally my hair. Yes I did just quote Lady Gaga, which is incredibly homosexual of me, but then again I am  one so I think I can do so. Anyway; my hair, is very important to me. Why? Who knows. But it always has been. From the early teenage years where by I piled wet look gel into my blonde tresses making me look like a poor infantile version of every late 90’s boy band members. The cows lick was my best friend. I have sampled all the hair styles, but in recent years I have found a style that suits my face and style. Long on top, short on sides.  Yes predictably its the same long quiff look that most lads my age are sporting these days.   Every now and then I forget myself. Inspired by some fashion article, Instagram post - person in the street, I think wow maybe I should cut my hair up into that style.  I could pull that off.  Recently I had delusions of grandeur, I ended up with a top knot and a moustache for a good 6 months. All of my fr

Have you ever been to a social gathering where by you only had a loose connection to the person hosting it? This being all the more obviously by the fact you are standing out like a twink at a bear club? For the most part, you will at some points in your life, have to suffer casual drinks, birthday parties, going away parties, weddings and shows under the guise of a favour you owe a friend.   ‘Can you please come to Mary’s drinks on Friday night? It is on   out in Hackney    in the cutest little gin bar’ all the while you sense the under tone of   ‘you owe me bitch, remember that art exhibit in Peckham when the venue smelled like rotten cheese?’. She doesn’t say this, but its all in the eyes. So of course, you say ‘Okay, as long as we go central afterwards together’.   What you are really thinking is, Does Mary even live near Hackney? Doesn’t she live by Holloway? The other side of London, she’s only having the drinks there as the boy she fancies lives near by, god how desp

Do you ever get yourself into a situation big or small, where by, five minutes into it you're knee deep in regret? For the next few blog posts, I shall be discussing the many scenarios where by my tolerance stops at 5 minutes. This series shall be entitled 5 Minutes in.  Lets start this thing shall we?! Five minutes in: Bath In principle a bath sounds like a really enjoyable experience. I have many a friend who swear’s by after a extremely nerve wracking day, they like nothing better then a hot steamy bath to burn away the day. They find it both soothing and relaxing with the added benefit of being cleansing. Really? I beg to differ my friend. I know in my heart, I am never going to enjoy a bath, but every now and then I find myself thinking. Oh maybe this time. Usually I'm thinking this while I am cooped up in a hotel room all on my lonesome.   Who doesn’t want to use the amenities to there fullest in a hotel? From my own personal experience a bath goes li

​ There is a wide spread phrase we all know extremely well. It goes 'A picture is worth one thousand words'. If this is the case, shouldn't you be careful with the photos you use on your online profiles? Especially the photos you use to attract a potential partner. Depending on the kind of photo you use there are many things I as a person may or may not read into it - whether it's true or not, it's what I perceive and perception is my reality right? These photos are all the other person has to go on. If you are anything like me, the picture is telling you a story about the person within it. Giving away all kind of juicy details some good, mostly bad. Below I have compiled a list of common photos you come across online and what I personally read into them. I am the first to admit I am a judgmental bitch. I have warned its just what I read into it. Photo / Photos of you with a number of attractive boys / girls. I will presume you

Everyone knows one person who has a neck of leather.  Or as it is also know, a brass neck. The common definition of such a person is ‘a type of behaviour where someone is extremely confident about their own actions but does not understand that their behaviour is unacceptable to others’. ‘Look at your woman over there, complete neck of leather skipping the queue’. I have come across an assortment of shenanigans over the years that could only be done by someone who has ownership of one such leathery neck. I intend to spill the beans on them in this post. Prepare to be aghast.  Here are my top 10 hitters.    Netflix Leather I know the following to be an incredibly true scenario for many of you out there, however, here is one such example. I know of a girl who shamelessly uses her ex-boyfriends Netflix account to get her tv box set fix on the regular. She bold as brass, watches shows such as Gossip Girl far from the taste of her ex thus making her continuous use extremel