Wrong Number






Recently after a few drinks as you do on a typical Saturday night I made a cliche mistake. I started to peruse the various dating applications. As you do. I struck up a conversation while only slight inebriated with a nice chap. Okay so It was not a slight inebriation and more of an obliteration. We decided to move the conversation over to WhatsApp as is customary these days when you make the decision that the person you are talking to is not a complete weirdo. One you might one day come home from work to find them going through your bins, while humming the theme tune to psycho. You have eliminated that possibility through secretive and cleaver banter such as ' are you a weirdo?'. Anyways. He passed this test so we exchanged numbers. I saved his number under his name we shall call him 'Bob'  and added an emoji to help the name stand out.  This is something I do with anyone's number I gain from dating. I add an emoji. They have absolutely no thought put into them or any valuable meaning, They are selected at random.

I should point out now that it was 3 in the morning. I should also remind you that I was drunk. I started the conversation on WhatsApp.

Me: 'Hey its Ray from [Insert dating application name]'

Bob[Emoji]: Hi
Bob[Emoji]: Got a pic?!

Me: Lol you have seen my pics no? on [insert dating application name] - whats left to see :)

Bob[Emoji]: The fact I don't know who this is! lol

Me: *Sends Face picture*
Me: Give out your number a lot tonight eh?
Me: lol

Bob[Emoji]: Well no actually. I don't remember giving it out at all lol

Me: *Sends Crying Laughing Emoji*
Me: Shiz Apologies

Bob[Emoji]: When did we speak?!

Me: Sorry mate, awkwardly message the wrong Bob  - We probably have each others number from at some point although I am really not sure when or how.

Bob[Emoji]: lol
Bob[Emoji]:  no problem mate

Me: Sorry [Awkward face] lol
Me: Cringe on my end.

Bob[Emoji]:  I was sure I'd have remembered you. You had me so confused.

Me: Teach me to be more careful - well I got your number at some point so I hope all is well.

Bob[Emoji]: Where are you from?

Me:  Ireland but been living in London years.

Bob[Emoji]:  Hmm. I dunno when we spoke!
Bob[Emoji]: This is me anyway.
Bob[Emoji]: *Sends topless selfie*

Me: I don't either.
Me: You are cute, where are you living?

Bob[Emoji]:  Guess your busy now arranging with other bob?
Bob[Emoji]:  I  live in Manchester.
Bob[Emoji]:  But been to London few times over the last few months, so maybe we spoke then.

Me: Lol or when I come up for pride.
Me: No actually I am not -

Bob[Emoji]:  Im in America at the moment, isn't it 4am at home?

Me: Yes  indeed, I am in bed and should really be going to sleep - have a good trip.

Bob[Emoji]: Cheers Have fun

Me: Tongue out emoji
First thing to take away from this experience is my stealth emoji differentiation method is complete bollox. I had used almost identical emojis with both Bob's.  Second take away is that I have accumulated 100's of numbers over the last few years and literally have zero Idea who 90% of them are. The third and final food for thought. Nothing good can happen after 3 in the morning. Log off and go to sleep Ray. Log off.




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