Five minutes in: Strangers Drinks

Have you ever been to a social gathering where by you only had a loose connection to the person hosting it? This being all the more obviously by the fact you are standing out like a twink at a bear club? For the most part, you will at some points in your life, have to suffer casual drinks, birthday parties, going away parties, weddings and shows under the guise of a favour you owe a friend.  ‘Can you please come to Mary’s drinks on Friday night? It is on  out in Hackney  in the cutest little gin bar’ all the while you sense the under tone of  ‘you owe me bitch, remember that art exhibit in Peckham when the venue smelled like rotten cheese?’. She doesn’t say this, but its all in the eyes. So of course, you say ‘Okay, as long as we go central afterwards together’.  What you are really thinking is, Does Mary even live near Hackney? Doesn’t she live by Holloway? The other side of London, she’s only having the drinks there as the boy she fancies lives near by, god how desperate of her. Why couldn't she go central like the rest of the world. Selfish. 

You pick out a nice outfit. Check your reflection in the mirror and think, damn I am looking fresh. Maybe tonight wont be a complete waste of time. Maybe I will speak to interesting people, make new friends, or at the very least there will be potential for a bit of eye candy. Who knows? The night is yours for the taking.  You arrive to the Pub - ignore the over flowing garbage at the side of it and enter. You see the group you are suppose to be socialising with, give them the ‘I am just going to get a drink eyes’ - shoot to the bar and order a double to get you started. After all you are catching up.  You make your way over, get introduced to the people to your immediate left and right. Five minutes in you are knee deep in thoughts of..

This conversation is so boring - where is [insert name of person you know who invited you]. 

Text from friend - ‘running late,  delays on the over ground - thats what we get for going to a place where it is only serviced by the god dam over ground - ‘mix and mingle until I get there darling - sorry xx’ they said.

 il just check Instagram. The lads are in soho. Dam wish I was.

Shit what is that person doing here? How he is connected to this group? stupid ass face. 

Oh shit he’s caught sight of me, he’s coming over to say hi.. better act nice 'Hey, you look great, long time no see’. Great now I feel dirty over how bloody fake I just was.

Everyone wants to dance. There is no dance floor and there are older folks eating full course dinners to our left. I am too sober for this. Let me get another double. 

Friend is still not here. Feels like I have been stuck here an age alone.

Oh I half know that person, let me chat to them. Great now they think I am being needy as I am following them around everywhere.  I think I just over heard him tell his friend he thinks I fancy him. No mate. You're in shorts in winter. I do not.

I know that girl who walked in, she is nice. Oh god I cannot remember her name, il just call her ‘Hey Darling…’

 Worked like a charm. Worked a little too well, she is not budging. She is asking about my friend Luke, how does she even know him. How do I know her?  Friend has arrived.  In bad mood from the commute here. 

Wasted a perfectly good new outfit on this event, I could of worn anything, she's in bloody flares.

The group are in discussion about moving the drinks over to a new venue further south east for some friends DJ gig. Over it. No way I am going there.

 'Good luck is Australia!' "oh its your Birthday?' Really? Who gives a shit Mary.  Give her the bitch smile. Oh she thinks its a genuine smile. I will leave her be. 

Waste of a perfectly good Friday evening. The commute home is terrible. As predicted the train arrives at a snail pace. You get yourself chips halfway home and concentrate to remember if you posed for any pictures or could you legitimately get away with wearing this outfit again this weekend. Footnote:  You wear that outfit out again the following night, only to be tagged in a picture by Mary, creeping in the background. Sneaky bitch did notice my bitch smile when I left.